Witty Mr. Anonymous on evolution - ‘She becomes her mother and he becomes his father’. I must be an aberrant entry into this world then, who is her mother’s Xerox but her father’s copy in all other matters. And I don’t just say that because this post is meant to be an ode to my dad and by this logic an ode to myself. I say it because I am told so, by my mother, quite confidently. Ahem. When I pay attention to how I live and like to think, I realize it’s quite true too.
From those prominent to the really small and miss able ones, we are all a compendium of features and habits which trickled down from our parents and occupied our minds - either consciously or otherwise. It’s inevitable, because while a child’s eyes observe with awe the ones he loves the most, his mind begins to make copious notes on how they sit, walk, talk, smile, eat, etc. And, how they think. In the beginning most children drink up the show-and-tell. Later, as they come into their own, they begin making amendments to the family-induced values and habits which were passed down. These are personal and made independent of any more consultation with mothers and fathers. After all, unlearning goes hand-in-hand with learning when times change at the speed of light and relevant becomes irrelevant with the blink of an eye.
In this scenario, when children leave the proverbial nest much before they physically leave it, it is so difficult to actually realize how much of us is really our parents - their old voice hiding behind our young views, and their experienced thoughts lurking behind every rebellious one in our mind. How do we tease away the parental thread from the mesh of fresh influences that envelop our adult minds and find the ratio? All we know, without any doubt, is that we all remain influenced by how we were brought up and by whom. How much of it we realize is usually just a matter of age, stage and time.
Now, everyone’s daddy is the best, and so is mine for reasons galore. Singly, and in combination with my mother (except when he ganged up with her sometimes when my pre-teen head wanted him to stand guerilla on my side). He did what every father does – took care of us kids, protected us and taught us about the wonders of the world. He did all that. But what he also did, without realizing it, is show me a cool school of thought by following it himself.
He showed me how to be right without being rude or unkind. How to broker peace where there is hope of none, or remain elegantly away from what was not his business. I saw in him a man who put his wife before himself, but rationale before anything else. And be organized, and as neat in dress as impeccable in integrity. I have sensed in him a desire to feel blessed for and celebrate each day of his life with friends and family, while yet ensuring that our tomorrows are safely secure through solid foresight. And as his daughter I have experienced the right blend of being-allowed and being-cautioned (except that this last ‘right’ is always realized in hindsight. Murphy!). When I had asked my husband what he thought of my dad, he had pronounced him a Buddha, sending both father and daughter soaring high up into the sky. That day told me everything I wanted to know about my future son's dad. Because I already knew by then what a great dad I have!
I saw the video above a few moments back. It is a part of SBI Life Insurance #GreatDad Campaign. And it depicts a father’s presence in a child’s life really well. Do give it a minute of your time.
[This is a sponsored campaign review.]