Thursday, 17 April 2014

Why I blog, you ask?


How daring of you to ask why I blog! Who do you think you are, Modi’s kurta-pajama maker? Don’t you know my deadly IndiRank? Or my bust-line and views punch-line and page-views? Or even that I am on speed dial with BlogAdda’s dadda whom I send a carton of alphonso to every Diwali? Badey aaye!

But now that you have asked that question, dumb as a nose hair it may be, I will answer. Even if you are blogging bloke-ing sitting on the 11th planet, for you have to be far removed from blog-o-sphere to ask anyone like me why I blog, I shall answer. What goes of my Swarovski studded pen? 

Once upon a time on a cold winter night, when my umbilical chord was cut came a divine voice which announced – ‘The Writer has been born’. Swear! Such power in that voice and such truth there was, the doctor fainted, then quit doctory and is now a best-selling author himself (He writes self-help, for himself, but I digress). Now, that lovely voice was heard by all, including my newly-opened ears. Which meant, I had to write for I was born to write. 

The divine itch to write something would strike me by surprise and in amazing places. Really! I was 5 when I wrote my first word in my convent-created school diary. It was F … whatever. But it felt so good. To have written something meaningful. Something worthwhile and something I could pass down generations as my own F… anyway! My itch to pen had to be taken care of at every stage in life. When it loomed large, it was larger than the one which rears its head the moment you step into a bus, all sweat and grime and slime and no B-tex. Passionately I scribbled ‘Roses are red, violets are blue, what features you have, what jaw-line too’ sonnets for good looking pahari waiters on restaurant serviettes and etched biological haikus behind monuments. I wrote here and I wrote there and I wrote everywhere when my talented hands yearned to write the gloriously wonderful things that came to mind.


And then one day, bhagwan ka shukra hai, I discovered blogging. Tailor-made for hands such as mine, like a glove. My blog was born, a cross between a c-sec and a natural birth, and I felt reborn somewhere ‘Between Write and Wrong’. And simultaneously was born a desire to take it to the next level, all my writing power and prowess. To practice, for it makes a 10/10 woman even more perfect, and to experiment. After my first post, a tribute to all the <3s and the ‘F’s and the smileys I had been writing, I lay back on bed, imagining myself waking up to a butler asking me to sign copies of my books for the crowd downstairs. Or sitting on a news panel to blah-blah about topics from women to politics to mitochondria to leather soles to diaper rash to lycra to anything. In short, to be a celebrity writer like Honey Singh Freida Pinto. Toh you see, to reach that one fine butler morning in life, I blog and blog and blog.

However, ab jhooth kya bolna. I also relish the attention. Here in the world of blogging, age is no bar at all, to anything, and neither is writing skill. ‘Kudos’ and ‘brilliant’ flow as free as pee after two bottles of Budweiser. Such doses of generosity, over-wired support and sense of oneness that no one will leave without saying ‘well written and poignant’, even if the post was a happy photograph no more and even if photograph was spelt Photograff. There is ample gas to make you fly like a hot air balloon and start planning your Booker book after post no. 16, ‘brilliant’ no. 160. Such love and encouragement that you don’t even need to open the dictionary to learn how to spell ‘encourazement’. Fark hee nee painda! As long as you are nearing what they call a ‘pro-’ vitamin B5, teens hosiery, relief balm Blogger status.  

And no better exercise than to blog away and share with all 7 continents the bhadaas that networking sites or neighbourhood networking pants up inside you. Typing all the frustration down in one breath and sans susu-breaks, extra !!!! marks and what the hale, you have a healing post ready. I have experienced it often. I wrote and wrote and wrote, forgot to blink, sweat came and fingers cried, but I wrote and wrote and that witch and what does she think and have you seen his hair and who you calling rude, dur fittey muh and I was going yes, oh yes, ohhh yessss and a … release. It ended. What catharsis what freeing. What a ‘powerful’ … rant post ready! More power to me!

I’m hungry, which reminds me. Some of life’s biggest pleasures come in the form of big mounds of biryani served to you in star-rated crockery, for free. Just like all hostellers are poor, well, so are we. Hence the blogger meets look like mini-Kumbhs except no one is a sadhu here, or naked (Sigh!). I blog so that I remain forever eligible to walk into a gathering of fun-loving people who love free food, free drinks, free face-to-face networking, free birds and freebies too. Being contest-crazy needs hard work, sometimes 4 times over. And while hard word breeds satisfaction, at no point does it match the sated burp of three kinds of cheese cakes settling in your stomach's wall. For free. Free!

Ab bolo, got your reasons why I blog ya you need more? Or did you also just get the reasons why you blog? That or this, time to press ‘Publish’. 

And go dream of that one fine butler morning. It will happen, you see!

Jai Mata Di!


[Written for WordPress Daily Prompts : 365 Writing Prompts aimed at posting at least once a day, based on the prompts provided. The prompt for today was - Million-dollar Question – Why do you blog?]



56 comments:

  1. Roses are red and violets are blue. What a poignant post this is and funny too.
    This encourazement flows after a glass of water - no Budweiser.
    This was hilarious Sakshi. What did you eat yesterday? Biryaani?

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    1. He he! Right you are about the glass of water, Alka. :D
      No, did not eat Biryani yesterday but itching to eat a mountain of it soon. I wonder when the next Meet is. Seems like ages since I attended one. ;)
      Thank you so much!

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  2. Spelling, velling da koi fark nai painda! Sab iko jay hain! This was hilarious, Sakshi. I can't tolerate baidly rittun blogs. (does my Punjabi accent tome through?)

    I must say my post on why I Blog was nowhere near as funny. http://sloword.wordpress.com/2013/09/20/ten-reasons-why-i-blog/ And blogging is a great tool for anger management! You're absolutely right!

    Strangely, I was asking someone what would happen if I wrote a post entirely in Bhinglish ( Bengali/Hindi/English). As you have demonstrated with your Punglish post, it could be done!

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    1. Your Punju-accent did come through, though that remains the only language in my lexicon which needs to be heard to be believed. :D
      I will hop over to your post now. I am sure you are being modest here!
      I do think Bhinglish sounds lovely. Make sure when you prepare that cocktail you invite me to partake of it. :D
      Thank you, Slo. :)

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  3. This made me giggle, quite a bit. I like it!

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    1. Thank you! That made me smile, ear to ear. Happy! :D

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  4. What da.....? Did you just rite about y "I" blog? You very well know that I wonly rite 4contests and dat I have way toooooo much trouble typin witot spelng mstakes. N rants...don't gt me strtd on that. I strtd bloggng because my rants was getting 2 big for Suckerberg's page, which is he soooo totally fild wid adz now. And Twitster - cmon...who cn rant in 140- chars or less .....

    Off I go to eat my Dum Piriyani !

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    1. Ha ha ha! You were right, Sid. It took me some time to understand but I have to give it ta ya fr writin' lyk dat. Hard work it is. :D
      Thanks for reading!

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  5. Biting wit Sakshi! Rushing to douse the fire with a glassful of chilled water.

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  6. I am so encougerazed right now! I mean I finally the knows why I blogz! Hear take my Hart <3
    You r one funny funny woman!
    JAI MATA DIIII!
    Where can I find a butler now.

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    1. Ha ha ha ha. Lovin ur comment, Red!
      Jai Mata Di.
      (I'll share mine, the butler I mean)

      Delete
  7. I concur with ur part that bloggers are so drugged on love.. you can just write.. hey peeps, have a good morning and they would shower big fat kisses on you,.. but holy God, killer post.. i have to give you that.. I have a crush on humor and I will say what I hope you've not received as a compliment before.. doesn't means you don't deserve it.. just that i have my own way of complimenting or so i believe..

    here goes the big fat kisses .. drumrolls
    STALK-WORTHY <3

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    1. God is Holy only. :D I am glad you have a crush on Humour. Is he/she good lookin'? Don't ya waste your big fat kisses on me, deary.
      I like 'stalk-worthy'. My husband does too! :D

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  8. Hahaha....that was brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    At this rate, you will have two-two pahari butlers, so amazing!!!!!!!!!!!! you are.

    (Sorry for the exclamation marks. They come on their own when I type Briliant or Amazing about a post)

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    1. :D :D You did forget the extra 'zzzz' in 'amazing'. Since my butler-days are yet to come, I can be forgiving. Would have been preposterous in that context though, this silly billy mistake of yours!
      Thanks, Rickie!

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  9. There I go dreaming about butler mornings now! And oh, I suddenly feel so awesome about being a blogger. This was a brilliantly funny post, Sakshi. :D

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  10. Oh My My, you're grand lady. The Write is Born. :-)
    You didn't leave any scope for me to comment a brilliant and poignant piece. You didn't allow me to shower you with my daily dose of encourazement. You didn't even allow me to shower the 'Kudos'. ;-)

    ROFL at B-Tex...errr no B-Tex! :-D

    Ab mein aur kya boloon...tussi to saade dil ki vi badaas nikaal ditha! :-D
    *runs off because she's sure that though she spent her entire childhood in the alleys of Tilak Nagar in Delhi, she would have made enough mistakes in her tooti-footi Punjabi much to embaraas the hard-core Punjaban.*

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    1. Ha ha, I like what you say, Rekha. That I took out your dil's bhadaas too. :D
      *hard core? me? kabhi nahi! :D*

      Delete
  11. Nyc, brilliant, amazing!!! Let me read the comments above so that I will know what to write here :D. (link dropping in the comment too)
    http://www.rachnaparmar.com/2014/04/foodie-vacation.html

    Sharp, biting wit! Thanda paani kitthe hai.

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    1. That was brilliantly done, Rachna. It is like an extension of my own post. :D

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  12. This probably was the most brilliant post that you have penned down in quite a while. It provides ample food for thought for the idea starved mind and provides your readers an unique insight into your psyche which has delved so deeply into the mindset of other bloggers and tried to figure out why they blog the way they do and why they comment the way they do. This post, just by itself, is worthy of a Pulitzer prize, and I am more than sure that the pahari butler that you refer to will soon find himself as your Literary Agent or Manager and will be kept so busy by all the publishing houses that end up contacting you after reading this gem of a post on the necklace that your blog already is :)

    I guess I blog because I get to try out fancy words, long sentences which sound good but don't mean a thing at all ;) And oh yes, I comment to scratch others' backs, just that they have to visit the hospital b coz all my scratching ends up with their backs bleeding quite a bit :D

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    1. Delved deeply into the psyche of the bloggers? No no,Jai! I have only dug holes in my own blogger-psyche. :D Amen to a pahari butler (although it was the waiter who was pahari, but I like your combination more)
      I like your reasons for blogging as much as I like mine! :D

      Delete
  13. C'mon, one doesn't need a Budweiser to say 'brilliant'. Even air will do. But kuch bhi kaho,. yeh post to sach mein brilliant hai :)

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  14. Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Epic lines, the one&only Sakshi Nanda. Jai Mata Di, when is z book cummin up? An absolute thrilling and addictive post:)

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  15. Cheers to the fraternity of bloggers (a gathering of fun-loving people who love free food, free drinks, free face-to-face networking, free birds and freebies too. )

    Joy always,
    Susan

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    1. Cheers, indeed! Thanks for reading, Susan!

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  16. "Hence the blogger meets look like mini-Kumbhs except no one is a sadhu here, or naked (Sigh!)"... I can't stop laughing.... :D :D
    Hilarious post Sakshi...

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  17. I was going yes, oh yes, ohhh yessss and a … release. It ended. What catharsis what freeing. What a ‘powerful’ … rant post ready.

    Haha....
    Pun filled Powerful post it is!!

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  18. You, my love, are way too cute! So glad I met you (and your blog)!!!!

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    1. Oh I am equally glad, Dipali, to have met you. Thank you so much! :)

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  19. With my limited wokablary, sorry vocabulary, how can I convey my appreciation to this post without using the word "brilliant" ? You have very correctly pointed out the generosity of fellow bloggers! If I would have gone through the posts of brilliant, sorry awesome bloggers like you before I started blogging, I would have never dared to venture the blogging world! This generosity helps naive bloggers like me to continue with their imperfect writings!

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    1. You know, Ratna, once upon a time I too had written my first few posts. And that was not very long back. Surely, a 'brilliant' will encourage you to write more and more. But really, a 'brilliant' dropped on a post which may be slightly less than that cannot make you grow as a writer can it? Or improve? Or know your own craft even? You, as a discerning writer/reader, will know encouragement from 'brilliant' I am sure. Perhaps, you will know what I mean when you are not so new.
      Will follow your blog. Something tells me you are not naive. :)
      Thank you for being here!

      Delete
  20. Loved your post, and of course, asked myself.. Why do I Blog. Have not yet found a plausible and rational answer, the best I could think of was, I love to pen my thoughts, or speak them out. Considering the latter is not that simple, the former runs fine.. Lovely..

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    1. Well, your thoughts are mine. But to make people laugh I had to make things up. Or did I? :P I sure hope both are 'running fine'. Thanks a lot for reading!

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  21. This is the coolest post I have ever seen,so much similar to my thoughts.It's the lovely comments that make our day and inspire us to write:)

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    1. :D Coolest sounds cool! Happy you liked it.

      Delete
  22. Lol this was hilarious Sakshi. Yeah and also almost the same reasons as you to blog on. Great read." ab jhooth kya bolna. I also relish the attention. Here in the world of blogging, age is no bar at all, to anything, and neither is writing skill." so true these lines.

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  23. Oh babes.. I relish the generous dose of attention too.. You beautifully brought forward the reasons to blog..Many of them are why I blog too.. .. Great post as usual .. :)

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  24. Not funny at all. (Relax, I'm just trying to break the stereotype). :)

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    1. Phew! I did not know breaking stereotypes felt that way. :D
      Thanks for reading, Spunky.

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  25. That verse on the pahari waiter is too good. Loved the part where you have mentioned the 'Mutual Admiration Society' angle of blogging.

    Hope you get the butler one day and I, the invite to stay at your place whenever I want.. :)

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    1. :D Thanks a lot, Saru. Good to see you here and even better that you wish to share the butler with me...err...the butler mansion I mean. :D
      Many thanks!

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  26. Apprezaashan on this sakshi :D u r da gratest in da world for encurazing apkuming ryterz like mees.... I feel so encourazed to blog now. I wiz I had a tubler....I'm sorry, butler. A brilliant one or atleast someone with kudos. Koi bhi ho, fark naeee paindega :D

    Ok now, laugh away :D

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    1. Ha ha ha! Okay, that was a laugh riot. :D

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  27. Hilarious and Honest (with an H)!!! <3 I the miss the reading the your the blog. ;)

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    1. For a second I thought your profile has been hacked. Phew! :D It is you, in fun mode. :D
      Thanks a lot for reading, Hiral!

      Delete
  28. ‘Kudos’ and ‘brilliant’ flow as free as pee after two bottles of Budweiser."

    Great. What an analogy, Ma'am!

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    1. A drunken one, really. :P
      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete

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