Saturday 8 February 2014

Karma Chameleon

I’m a Karma Chameleon. 

Oh no, not the hit Culture Club song which was born the same year as me, one nine eight three, coincidentally. And when it took birth, Boy George had to say this about Karma as he saw it: 

"Basically, if you aren't true, if you don't act like you feel, then you get Karma-justice, that's nature's way of paying you back."

Picture of Album cover - stolen from www

When I was born, nothing of the sort was said. Of course, praise to do with my chubby cheeks and dimpled chin reached the chandelier hanging on the roof. That I was the cutest baby swinging in that nursery, and that even my burps were pure melody. And that one day, going by the diameter of my head the doctor measured with a stethoscope, it was said that I would rule the world for many lifetimes to come. Many. So big my head, so intelligent it had to be. I await that once-in-many-lifetimes coronation. And while I walk in this one proud as a plum, I take George’s word to heart. But do I want to be reincarnated or do I want to vanish into thin air as something which no one has ever confirmed?  

Oh Boy, if George is to be believed, I need to stop sucking up to make sure I am not born a toad the next life. Why, to not be born at all! To attain freedom from the cycles of birth, I need to act true to myself, despite the politeness the tall, fair, convent-educated bear as a burden. Do good, only when I think I should. Talk gratitude, only when I feel it. Lap that behind almost never, till the other thinks I’m devil’s own prudish child, or something close. 

For instance, if I throw pop-corn at the guy in front of me for farting in the movie hall, Karma-justice will be happy. I will not be reborn as a pop-corn holder that meets the bin, because I was true to my feelings within. Then, at that certain O’clock of re-birth, the long hands of karma will not come pounding down on me, but rather arrive to pat my back and say – ‘Remember girl, you hit the leaking WC with your husband’s shampoo bottle 37 times, because it disturbed your sleep. For that, you will no longer be born with frizzy hair. You will no longer be born at all.’ And I fly with the lightness of hair and being!

What is this karma theory all about? All this cause and effect. Confuses the bird-brain out of me, as you may see! 

If I am to be true to my heart, where am I to hide that sneer when I cuddle the neighbour’s new born monkey, falsely compliment him for the nose that is after the mother’s middle finger and the teeth after the granny, yet to show. I am to be honest all the time, right? How else will I be freed from this body? Social graces be damned! My feelings which tear my innards into 23 different pieces when with dirty shoes someone’s one-in-a-million princess jumps on my sofa with glee. Mummy looks the other way, sipping tea, eating cake, talking with food in her mouth. I sit looking at those dirty sandals touching beige, wondering, karma you devil, will you be the end of me even before my O’clock comes? 

With arms wide open I am to avoid air kissing the botox. Not compliment the dress that sits uncomfortable on the body that sits comfortably inside it, propped on heels and high on salon bills. Madam, false lashes do not become you, I will say, especially since they match not the colour of your brows, or brow pencil! No more just a ‘you too’ when ‘looking good’ I hear for myself. Throw truth to the face, to all 56 layers of paint on it. Hope it does good, for I am being good and honest. Tell face-paint’s husband his tee needs a heavy iron. Define formal wear and walk off, with a shocked scowl directed at this worn-out pants, graces be damned. With holes even. Sheesh! Karma, I’m honest and hey, guess what, I’m getting to enjoy it now.

Go over to grey-haired and show her my mind. No, not bend my knees in elderly respect but tell her she needs to take a hike, arthritis or not. Get those lungs free from webs she mouths around. Not listen to myths of child rearing or fossilized tales feeding patriarchy, coming in voices sweet as saccharine but from hearts cheap as fake watches. Chinese. Tell them to shut it. Not ruin what’s mine. Leave them to karma’s hands, but only after telling them what I feel, and how they made me feel. Only because I need to be free, in this life and next birth onwards most certainly. 

The clouds have cleared. Karma, you don’t bump off my head any more. I see it now. What’s to be done and how. But before anything, I need to leave my own mask aside. Keep myself from wearing it. Let my real face do the talking. Ready, Karma?

So here goes! Let me begin the honesty-brigade with you. Why does one pay for crimes committed in this life only in the next? A bloody courier reaches me in a day, while your knuckle raps will only on the other side of this life time? Are you snail slow, or is this a way of saying – Err away, you human. Tomorrow never comes but tomorrow never dies either! Obfuscating yourself further.

Hm. 

You know what, I just changed my mind. 

I’ll deal with your hands in the next life time. In this, I will suck up to every behind till it pronounces me the queen of goodness kindness calmness cuteness politeness. It’s fun Being Good, also called Being Human. And it’s in fashion too. The ever-green leather pumps variety, not the bell bottom kind. Don't believe me? Get an account on FB! 

So that’s how I change my mind. Take a U-turn.

I told you, I’m a Karma Chameleon. Oh no, not the hit Culture Club song which was born the same year as me, one nine eight three, coincidentally.


[Written for WordPress Daily Prompts : 365 Writing Prompts aimed at posting at least once a day, based on the prompts provided. The prompt for today was: Karma chameleon - Reincarnation. Do you believe in it?]

32 comments:

  1. Good choice, I say. Being Human, that is. Being Karmic? Why worry about something which is at least one lifetime away?

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  2. Standing ovation - just for this line ... Not listen to myths of child rearing or fossilized tales feeding patriarchy, coming in voices sweet as saccharine but from hearts cheap as a fake watches. Chinese.
    Now that's telling them!
    I kind of like the theory of Karma. If I have another life to get stuff right, then I can sin away merrily in this one, can't I. I'd rather suffer later.

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    1. Ha ha! Well, true that. But we can sin away anyway, for who has seen tomorrow, let alone another life? :D
      I'd rather suffer later got me laughing ! :D

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  3. I am not able to handle my life and mistakes in this birth who has the time to worry about the next. My only thoughts of my next birth is I am going to be born as my husband and him as my wife so that I too can irritate him to my hearts content.

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    1. Ha ha ha. Well, that sounds like a weekend from my house too. :D And what a thought - I think I am just going to announce the same to my husband. Except, I want to be more more organised than him. :D
      Thanks for reading! :D

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  4. I always like the Karma theory, I like to believe in it.

    (God! You write so well.)

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    1. I don't know if I want to believe in it. But it interests me, undoubtedly!
      (Thank you, that was good to hear coming from you!)

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  5. There is a fatal flaw in being what we feel we should be while we are in the ocean of this civilized world - What goes around comes back around and we certainly want it that way, to let the good things find us. So, a compliment given, sees a compliment returned (unless it is being delivered to a brute fully honest karma follower).
    Hence, 'Oh you look wonderful tonight!, This fur coat looks so magnificent on you, muah!' receives a 'same to you' as a compliment while transacting in terms of the society and is a pleasant melody to hear (with a little taunt popping off in the head wishing if they could pour a little more sugar rather than just returning the compliment verbatim).
    But the same 'same to you darling' is equally ugly if you castigated someone by saying 'oh you look awfully ugly, what is this hideous coat that you're wearing, fur of the swine you ate as dinner yesternight?'.

    So, being nice is always a plus point in today's circle. Forget Karma, we won't remember what we did in our previous lives, why invest in the side we've never seen?

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    1. Ha ha ha. I like the 'why invest in the side we have never seen'. :D And I agree, especially if investing in it means writing a 'this should be thus' for not just myself but others too. A 'holier than thou' cloak I would not prefer to wear. Nor dictate to another where his moral line is to be drawn. I have mine, and that's more than enough.
      And by God I'd rather faint before someone says to my face - "this hideous coat that you're wearing, fur of the swine you ate as dinner yesternight". :D
      Thanks for an insightful comment, BA.

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  6. Yes, being human is always better than being nasty in the guise of being honest. I don't really know about karma though somewhere deep inside I would love to believe that everything that goes around comes around in the same lifetime. But, being human can be a tricky call especially with some people who tend to go overboard. We don't have to say, "How great you look" if the person does not look that great. But, surely there can be something genuinely nice about the person that we can praise without being 'artificially' nice. So yes, I do hope that we can practice honesty with a heart.

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    1. Go overboard with being human. Hm. You meant complimenting, right? However, who decides the 'overboard'? Now that scares me - self-appointed gurus setting limits for not just the bad side but the good ones too. 'Thou Shalt Not' is neither my idea of God nor Human. :D As for 'artificial' it's quite a subjective term, no? Say for instance, doesn't it depend on our "interpretation" of another's compliment? Hm. Another interesting thought to mull over!
      'Honesty with a heart' to me goes beyond complimenting and social fineries. It means to me that the reflection in the mirror is something I can face. Love your insightful comment to a funny little post, Rachna. :D

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    2. There are no self-appointed gurus, Sakshi! Our conscience is our guru. We pause; we introspect; we ponder why we do what we do and we take a call again. What may be overboard for me may not be for you and vice versa. And you must go by your own yardsticks as shall I. What I meant by going overboard is that there are times we have to say it like it is not hidden under niceties where the message will be lost. As a parent, we do not sugarcoat and give it straight many times. Sometimes, even as a friend or a colleague or boss too! sometimes, we don't say anything and keep quiet. Again I did not speak about being artificial in the context of compliments only but as a measure of being genuine which again is subjective as you pointed out. At the end of the day, as you rightly said, we should be able to look at the reflection in the mirror in an unflinching manner comfortable in what we do and how we do it :). Thank you for this conversation.

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  7. This was quite a nice take on a somewhat tricky prompt in my opinion. Yet again your refreshing honesty in penning down your thoughts on the blogs elevates this somewhat abstract, mundane topic to provide us a lovely insight into your views on all those 'fakes' that we end up interacting with a on a daily basis more than once. I don't know about you having to wait for 'karma' to give back what is rightfully yours, considering all the lovely comments that your readers leave behind :)

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    1. Oh, I was just blabbering, Jai. Trying my hands at a new form/style (which, alas, not many noticed!) and streaming my musings into an informal post about something as full of Gravitas as Karma Theory. Plus, it's just Boy George for heaven's sake. :D Sigh ... humour lost. We are a serious tribe. :D
      Now now,about the lovely comments, you sure they are not what you call 'fake'? ;)

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  8. Oh..No Sakshi..You don't have to wait for the next incarnation to pay for your Karma... Whatever goes comes around.
    Our kids teach us that...;). Learning it the hard way..:)

    By the way a Versatile Blogger Award for you, with lots of love..Check here... http://tulipsandme.blogspot.in/2014/02/another-versatile-blogger-award

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    1. Ha ha ha, Preethi. I like that! 'Our kids teach us that' and much more. Bai God! That is true now. :D
      Thanks for the award, Preethi. I know you mean the 'lots of love' and that makes me happy! :)

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  9. well said...gotta be a human first and then think of all the acts that could come around to bite us!

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  10. Karma and reincarnation ... loved the way you portrayed it :-)

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    1. Phew! Thank you for taking the post at face value. I was getting scared looking at the knowledge around, and feeling quite an ass in the process. :D

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  11. Hey Bhagwan!! The wicked side of Sakshi Nanda..Be Human and love the post:)

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    1. Bhagwan ko yaad kar next life ki setting ho rahi hai, Vishal? :D Thanks a lot for reading. I myself don't know what exactly I was trying to convey. But getting insightful comments is a plus with the wackiest posts around! :D

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  12. Being human will actually take care of Karma...so guess that is the way it goes. I believe in being the right kind of right (not my kind of right) so guess that really helps me cleanse. I don't care what happens in the next birth, I am care about if I would sleep peacefully at night, if I'd be able to face myself and look myself in the eye, that my face look cleansed and beautiful in the mirror with inner beauty radiating....I like to keep it simple.

    If at any point there's some thing that repulses, I have a tool for that too...SMILE! It works every time and then wade your way away from 'it'. Negativity with always breed more negativity. Lovely, thoughtful post, Sakshi

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    1. I see the kind of grammatical errors I have made which are going to make people sneer at me...so let me rectify myself.
      It's... I only care* ... face looks* ... something*

      Thanks for bearing with me

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    2. I will bow to you, and tell you that I try my BEST to follow exactly that principle. SO good to see someone not wearing that fancy dress called 'Holier Than Thou Robe of Honour'. :D I like you, Kajal. You are what you are and I don't think the mirror image will disappoint you at all. Negativity breeds negativity, exactly! :)

      Kajal darling, that typo errata was totally unnecessary. In this space, no sneering. :)

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  13. Get an account on FB totally split me up! What a miracle you are to be sure! Seriously.

    Is there ANY genre you don't excel in? Talk about raising the bar, again. Phew!

    Dagny

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  14. First it was a tricky prompt and you managed to put out a very unconventional post :) I like you for that. And about karma, well you live your life the way you want to anyhow, you do what your heart says anyhow so this birth or the next, it is always the choices you make.

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    1. Oh how happy you make me feel for recognising the trickiness of the prompt. Thank you! Also, 'off-beat' is how I too describe this post, and you got me there too.
      Like how you sum Karma up so nicely. Karma - are you reading this?

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  15. Well I realise there was a lot in this post that didn't meet the normal eye at first. Humour camourflaged the inner meaning. I know you would say I didn't mean it like that, but it spoke to me why karma is what we make it to be :-)

    Richa

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    1. :) Thanks for reading, Richa. There is always more than meets the eye, especially if the writer's mind peeps through. I intended this to be an off-beat quickly-written spontaneously-framed post. I do see what you mean when you say "camouflaged the inner meaning". :)

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