Friday, 24 January 2014

Shy is Coming

May I begin by saying – the title is not what you think. 

Remember that joke from school-time? Tom and Jerry were feeling Happy on the tree. Suddenly, Happy fell down. The title of this post may make you remember that, but surely your expectations are on the wrong track if it does. I never crack that joke. Never. Coming back now. For one, I have no Shy in my mind as I write this. Any resemblance to something coming in your mind at equal speed is coincidental. For two, I am too shy to write about matters such as those we do not speak about in polite society. Polite I am, yes.  

‘Shy is coming’ is just another phrase in the world inhabited by ever-evolving languages and cross-country meets. Translate it verbatim to Hindi, and it may make more sense. But sense we need not. We just need to communicate. Hence this post. Only to communicate words, and not the monosyllabic ones most certainly.
So, when does shy come and how? (For ease of expression, let us just call her a ‘she’. Also because ‘sh’ seems to be 2/3 letters that they share. Plus, I can think of no better 3 letter word beginning with ‘S’ to fit the bill.)

Now, shy can come anytime and anywhere.  Usually, it takes you by surprise, almost an uncomfortable one. Here you are walking towards the milk shop and there you realize your zip is undone. First reaction? The hands try to hide something that shows not. But they try, even as she is coming and making your face go red and redder. Even if they are holding a packet of oranges. Then you turn away from all eyes, knowing you can never be hidden enough. And murphy makes it happen – makes your zipper take long, very long, to slide back up. All this while, shy was coming. Screaming, out of your cheeks. Once done, you pat your zip in place and quickly ask for two litres of full cream milk. It is good for health, they say. Plus, you had come to buy milk, remember? 

Shy can also come without a wardrobe malfunction. For instance, in kitty parties right after the board results are out. As soon as the first round of Tambola is done, pop it comes, a question about your son’s marks. You shuffle your behind on a chair which can barely breathe, to turn towards the asker yet mumbling a silent prayer to God to end the world right there. He missed touching 9 by a centimeter, you say. 89.9 percent. And shy comes. Full frontal on the face. Hidden behind the blush on but visible on those magenta lips biting shy away. Even in the be-jewelled hands, as they suddenly grab hold of the ball-point pen before them, and tick-tick shy’s assault away. Children, so much pressure they carry on their heads and put on their parents’ too. Next house – four corners, three lines and swimming pool. First number coming up – 6 and 9, sixty nine! Thankfully, shy makes way for Tambola again and the party continues like nothing happened. 

The largest shy of all comes sauntering in to sit on your lap when you are proven wrong. Now this coming can happen anywhere. Just anywhere where there is something right and something wrong. Especially something wrong. Take the example of a drawing room where whiskey glasses were discussing Indian politics. One gentleman knew how much Mr. Aap weighed. Another knew the last thing Didi had had before her Bengali tummy rumbled. While a third flaunted having counted the 3 root canal crowns in Prince’s 40-year-old mouth, another stood up with his long, long and solid, list of statistics of those living BPL. So long it was, it confused all the men just counting the zeros. Impressed them too. Just then, in walked a fair amount of sex member of the fairer sex (his wife I believe) to remind him, how, the last time she checked the data read different, that a couple of ‘Oh’s were missing from the statistics he huffed and puffed to generate. Shy comes and comes and comes and refuses to stop in such circumstances, when you are proven short by such a huge margin. Almost like an anti-climax, to the evening. Like an under-performance. Or none at all. 

Now I stop. Something tells me shy is coming to you. Why? Never let it come. 

Feel free. You can feel happy too. Why not! 

52 comments:

  1. This is hilarious. Does shy come to you when you are told that you are a brilliant writer? :D

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    1. It just did. So flushed I am in the face. :D
      Thanks a lot for surviving this silly post, Hiral! :P

      Delete
  2. Love the post!

    Shy is clearly a "she", if you translate from Hindi, no?

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    1. Yes, yaad aaya, woh she hee hai. :D
      Thanks for reading, TheLastWord.

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  3. Sakshi, you made me laugh... and laugh... and laugh!

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    1. So much laughter I did not expect, but if it came it's good only. All such kind of coming is good for health. The best medicine, as they say! :D
      Thanks, Mimmy. :)

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  4. OMG, to think that this post was inspired by something as insipid as "shy is coming". You, madam, are truly one of the 'naughtiest' (in more than one way) writers that I have ever had the pleasure of reading. The strategic usage of strike throughs for phrases, 'anti-climax', 'under-performance', you sure have a way with words Sakshi, Enjoyed the post quite a bit.

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    1. 'Shy is coming' is not insipid, and certainly not after it has been written about such that everyone's Laughter is coming too now. Good you picked the chosen phrases. I did try to weave them in.
      As for "one of the 'naughtiest' (in more than one way) writers" - FB chat pey clarify karo, abhi, iska kya matlab hai. :D

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  5. Cute post. Of course, what I want to know is what shy did to you yesterday that made you write this. I'd place my bet on you milking the zipper episode at the dairy that left an unnatural pink glow on your already glowing face. See, I do recall that the gas was left on while you were clattering away on your keyboard for exactly ten minutes yesterday, leading to a sticky mess that the maid complained about later.

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    1. I will not tell you. Who knows if that becomes the core subject matter of some book of yours in the future? Nah! I'm keeping it properly zipped, my mouth.
      'Cute' makes me think.
      Thanks a lot for reading, Rickie.

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  6. Ever since I was kid, I have been perturbed when asked if 'Shy' is coming to me or not.. Regardless of what one answers, it is always against you.

    There was this one incident when I was in college.. I was climbing down the stairs of the hostel skipped over the bottom step as I was in a rush. The trousers it seems had become too old, and with a loud noise, were ripped apart.

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    1. We have laughed out loud at your first statement. Really. And we agree with you too. If N too could read, I am sure he would have given me and my husband company in nodding his head with glee.

      And that incident, my friend, is not something you speak about. And certainly not to people who write posts such as these. We have a bottomless capacity of storing anything from slapstick to scatological. Stored now! :D

      Thanks for bearing with blogger to read this! :D

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  7. Quite a gigglarious post Sakshi. Yes, I would like to second Rickie ' s question and ask...so did shy come to you yesterday?

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    1. 'Giggalarious' is such an interesting word. Hm. Am I thinking of my next one already? :D
      If you are sharing Rickie's question, then I am sharing with you the answer I gave him. Scroll up! :D

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  8. LOL
    I often convince myself to quell my 'shy is coming' reactions by telling myself that I was born this way, unconcealed and without a diaper. I handled the world in that state, I've nothing to lose now.
    But 'dil hai ke maanta nahi'.

    Nice read!

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    1. I was born with my fig leaf, thank you. Oh, so now I know who that baby boy was in the cot next to mine in the nursery. No sharam at all. Well, good to have met you, finally. I am sure you don't wear your birthday suit too much now. If you do, you have everything to lose. :D
      Thanks for reading, BA. :)

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  9. Shy has come. Seriously, I have never heard that expression before in English. Your creation? I remember reading a column in Grihashobha or some similar magazine titled 'hai mai sharm se laal huyi.' The title was enough for me to go into a fit of giggles. And that is what happened once I understood what shy is coming was. Naughty, very naughty, Sakshi! What's up? We have to ask A what brought this on :-)!

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    1. Not my creation, except this post and all the ideas it puts in the readers' heads. I have seen this phrase doing it's shameless rounds on FB, much like so much else. Just borrowed it for a little while. That's all! :D
      Yes, this was naughty. And for your information, my husband just fainted reading the last sentence of your comment. When he comes to, I will let the truth come from the horse's mouth. :D
      Thanks for reading, Rachna.

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  10. Shy can really come in bulk when the fly is undone. Fun weekend read Sakshi. Unique, refreshing style of writing witty posts.

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    1. Haha! Do read the first half of your comment again. :D Thanks, Alka. Your feedback always makes me want to do a little jig on the table and celebrate my writing. :)

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  11. This is so hilarious... Shy pops in at the wrong place, at the wrong time and makes us go speechless and helpless... Let us shoo shy away!! :)
    Loved it Sakshi Nanda..

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    1. Shoo shy away? Why, Preethi, I killed it with my two bare hands before I wrote this, and then again before I pressed 'Publish'. Shy can never come to me now. :D
      Thanks for the love! :)

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  12. lovely and hilarious and expressive.. very

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  13. The shy came with a bang, I say!

    Hilarious stuff :)

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    1. You comment is truly in keeping with the spirit of my post. :D
      Thanks, S.

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  14. brilliant Sakshi. loved it. For us Shy was murdered during ragging in college

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    1. Good murder. How free you must feel now. :)
      Thanks for reading, Soumya.

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  15. Dont know about shy .. but laughter came in great truckloads as I read this. Wiitty this was Sakshi !

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  16. Hahahaha! Loved the post !
    The next time when I feel 'shy is coming' I am surely going to remember your post and sheshy away!

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    1. I would love to be remembered, even if it is for this silly post of mine. As long as makes people smile! :D
      Thanks for reading, Najm.

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  17. Ha ha ha I couldn't stop laughing,yes shy does come in those circumstances and more.So very written,loved it ;)

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  18. Lol :D itz too funyyyy :D Loved it :)

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  19. it's so true and hilarious. enjoyed it :)

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    1. Glad you did. Thanks for reading, Viditi. :)

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  20. Shy comes to most people once in a while, unless they're clueless or totally shyless!
    Nice post. 'Fun came' as I read it!

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    1. Thanks, Pro. Your verdict matters. Even the fact that Fun came. :D

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    2. Thanks, Pro. Your verdict matters. Even the fact that Fun came. :D

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  21. If shy reads this, shy will be overcome by shy :D Such a sweet and hilarious post , Sakshi :)

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    1. That is a very smart comment, Sreeja. This is the third in a row I am reading from you and I have to say - you are one of the smartest "commentators" around. So happy to have you reading. And you really read well! :)

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  22. A hilarious one! You really have a way with words, Sakshi! :)

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    1. Thanks, Preeti. Like a fool I was laughing at my own writing. :P

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    2. That's itself a treat to us bloggers, nah?!

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  23. Sakshi Nanda can be shy when it comes to her writing! How you play with words. Wow!! Now, don't temme this making u shy. Ive been shy as a child till my 30's and m still in this mode at times..may be conscious of the world watching. Once, forgot to zip the pant and just imagine was in local train..had to put MidDay copy on my jeans to pull it. I almost died on that day..hehe..
    Cheerz for this post

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  24. Great play with words! Witty post.

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    1. Thanks a lot, Chatty. Good to see you here! :)

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